Interrupters Anonymous/April Resolution

Scene 1 - New beginnings

Me: Hello. My Name is Rachel. And I'm an interrupter.

Crowd of individuals gathered in a church basement drinking coffee made with love by the veteran of the group (in unison): Hi, Rachel.
_________________

Scene 2 - Monologue

Me: I have always known that I'm not perfect. However, I have always figured that by acknowledging that i am not perfect and never will be, i have found some kind of loophole and now i really don't want to think about the actual REASONS i am not perfect (aka flaws. ouch. just the word...) and--heaven forbid!--actually try to fix them. Because we all know no one's perfect anyways, so it's not like i'm going to fix everything wrong with me and come out clean on the other side.

But I am an interrupter. Dude. I knew it--and was trying to repress--but it's starting to hurt the people I love and something needs to be done. I'll work (i am not going to say 'I'll try' because this is something that NEEDS to happen) as hard as i can, but I have no IDEA how i'm going to pull this off. I have always thought support groups are the coolest things in the whole world (i am totally serious and this post is in NO way intended to mock those who make themselves available to people they don't even know and selflessly help them through something unbelievably difficult). In a perfect world, I'd be able to google one within walking distance of my zip code and accessible by public transportation. (note to self before i forget: interruption cannot possibly go away as long as parentheses are still in the picture. contact APA/MLA(/Merriam-Webster?) and see what needs to happen/who needs to be lobbied and how much cleavage i'm going to need to show.)

___________________

Scene 3 - Breaking point (three months later)

Me (into the phone): Hey. It's me. (sniffle/cough/shudder) I'm calling because... I don't know how i'm going to make it. I know i'm making progress and i--finally--just got my three-hour chip, but this a LOT harder than i thought it was going to be.

(pause. because my sponsor is superhuman and is actually WAITING to make sure i'm done talking before speaking)

Sponsor (i'd like to think her name would be something soothing and motherly like Jean. Or Patricia. Yeah--it's totally Patricia, and she'll let me call her Trish when i've made it to a month--even though the only person who calls her trish ever is this one girl she worked with in college and still keeps in touch with): Honey, you can do this i know it's hard but i've seen the way you are when you set your mind to som--

Me: Yeah i get that but you know, when you... you know how... like when you really feel like you've got to do something? i know you've been through it Tri--Patricia... How? How?!
(pause)

Patricia (disdainfully): I was speaking, Rachel.

(inappropriately (and obviously spitefully) long pause)

Me (sounding attitude-y): So is there, like, someone I'm supposed to give the chip back to? Or do i just save it and let myself put it back in my pocket when--IF--I earn it again?

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...
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Scene 88(oh man hopefully some of you are still in the audience. I know you have to pee but i didn't' want to do an intermission because I was afraid you'd all leave and go to a bar somewhere to talk about how this was never going to end and didn't the main girl--ME!--have a huge ass?) - You never thought it would end, did you?

Trish: For the first time, we've reached the limit of chip-rewarding. 100000 hours just doesn't fit, and we really don't want to change the typeface. Some said it would never--COULD never happen. But she's done it. And, another first... I been lapped by my sponsee. The tables have turned. I'm standing here... to introduce you to... MY sponsor.

(pause)

Crowd: (cheering/clapping)

(pause of EXACTLY the appropriate length)

Me: Love you, T. You know I'm here whenever you need--

Trish: Thanks. Means a lot.